An Extraordinary Detour with Extraordinary Consequences

Fate sometimes create blessings in disguised forms. You may never realize that what lies in front of you is already an opportunity of some sort. Fate can be cruel too. Sometimes it leads you somewhere where everyone left already that you were like awkwardly standing there asking yourself what just happened. It tests your patience, your emotional and spiritual stability, your defense mechanisms and above all else, at some point, it takes away the things/people you care about. But fate plays a fair game too. I think that when you lose something or rather when there’s your dream that’s within reach but somehow your grasp slackened, that would only mean one thing. You’re not yet ready to seize it.

Furthermore, fate finds ally in time. You can have all the resources and all things set up for you to make that dream a reality, but if the time isn’t right, everything just falls apart. They say things fall apart for you to pick up the pieces and put them back together in their right places. It’s a game, a challenge and in the end you’ll grow into a stronger, more mature person. Someone who can say “I was able to weather it all out.”

My father used to say, when it rains, it pours and it is at this moment that you have to prove yourself. Be capable of making a decision and suffer its consequences. It just so happened that what I really wanted just disappeared like a thin smoke. You know that situation when you’re so ready to go on your own adventure and discover things that’s so unfamiliar to you. Soak in the environment that’s so different from what you’re used to. Chase that dream that’s hovering near you. And then, with just one snap of fingers, everything changed abruptly.

Of course I’m in deep gratitude that I’m still here breathing and capable of smiling at things no matter how good or how bad they are lol. And how my father has his 3rd life (as I described it). Second life as he was able to recover from his coronary artery disease. His third life when he recovered from a heat stroke and transient ischemic attack. He’s the top reason why I made an impulsive decision to go here in the middle east and work. Actually I have a lot of reasons:

1. Be the number one bread winner in the family. (I wanna beat my father lol, and since he’s retired already, I won XD)

2. Help my family out financially  and pay Zai’s tuition. (Pretty expensive especially the tours they require)

3. Be able to prove myself as I stepped out of my comfort zone and become independent.

4. To forget someone. Or rather to forget the heartache/mend my broken heart. (He has a permanent place in my heart, I know I won’t ever forget him.)

5. Gain another 2years of professional experience from a different country.

I’m not gonna lie, I do feel sad most of the times especially at night when I go to bed and sleep. I stare at the pitch black space and sometimes wonder why things turned out this and that way.  But I always managed to shrug them all off. I have to, or else I’ll lose my head lol. I lie to my parents whenever they ask me if I’m doing ok, I would just say yeah I’m fine. I don’t want them to worry 🙂

By the way, I listen to music here a lot. They make me happy. When I can’t fall asleep I just put on my earplugs and listen to the songs in my iPod (I named it “Happy” lol). I listen to the songs until Mr. Sandman will come and visit me.  Here are 3 songs that pretty much describe my life lol:

1. Say (All I Need)- by One Republic

 

2. Stop and Stare- by One Republic again lol

 

3. Angel- by Sarah McLachlan

 

I am living a hard life here, but I’m getting used to it now 🙂 As I said, I consider this  a detour because I won’t stay here for long. Extraordinary detour because of all places, I ended up here. Extraordinary consequences because I have to endure the products of that decision. Which by the way, I’m making a pretty good job at it. Well, if it’ll make me a stronger person, then why not right? Afterall we’re all struggling to survive in this harsh world.

PS i have this posted on my yahoo updates today:

lol i forgot things today because my mind’s a bit occupied about the medical director’s offer.. i don’t want a big responsibility sitting on my shoulders, i just wanna work.. i don’t wanna be a head nurse.. someone more mature/older deserves that position..

a pic taken earlier 🙂

I know it’s a boring post lol. XD

’cause you had a bad day

Bad day is when your driver didn’t come to pick you up on time, having patients who know nothing but to complain about everything. When you didn’t eat your lunch and you’re standing for hours doing medical procedures, and your superior didn’t stick to his words! When your back is aching and one of your colleagues is whining about her stupid patient that instead of taking a short rest, you have to pretend that you’re listening just so she won’t feel insulted or something. When you have to experience all these crap in one day then all of a sudden you miss your family back home. And at the end of the day, you have a stupid migraine attack that 2 pills of Advil won’t even help in decreasing the pain. And above all else, there’s no one there to listen when you feel like cursing the world for giving you this shit. Someone who’ll just listen, who’ll understand, that you can completely open yourself without judging you, be completely vulnerable.

Life sucks for the most part, it’s good to whine once in a while. I’m a quiet person, I don’t usually tell my problems to anyone unless I’m comfortable with them. I guess I just have to suck these all up, cry quietly at night when everyone’s snoring and write everything down in a journal or post it somewhere. Life’s a bitch, but you have to be twice as bitchy otherwise you’ll lose your head.

you look smart, until you start talking (so just zip it)

Grrrrrrrr! Can you just shut up for at least a minute? You’re making no sense at all! Can you listen to yourself talking and tell me if what you just said makes sense? Oh wait! I forgot! You have such small brain but a big mouth! SHUT UP will yah? Did you hear us complaining when you do cruel things? NO! So why are you acting such a bitch with a smart mind? As far as I know, bitches don’t have minds at all! Because they’re bitch and my dear you are a classic example! Maybe you can just rot to hell with that nearly brainless head “HN” of yours! Afterall you’re both f*ckin stupid! Take your puppet with you! Because she’s useless without her master.

Why, after 2 months did you brought that thing up? Because you’re bored? Because you can’t hear anything from us? Because we’re not complaining? And you’re finding a hole to make us miserable? Well I’ve got news for you, go ahead and try! I’ve got four nasty words for you if you want me to talk, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Life Doesn’t Get Easier, You Just Get Stronger..

When there’s something you really wanted, you just have to work hard for you to get it.

Sometimes I can’t help wondering why I ended up working in the middle east (Riyadh, KSA). Was this a detour on my way to a better place? I think so. All I wanted is to go and study or work in the UK and meet that guy I kept in a corner of my heart for too long. Well, I guess fate made a challenge again for me to gain another “useful” experience. To step out of my comfort zone. So yeah, trials came up suddenly like raging winds and angry waves crashing the shore. My dream, as of that moment, was shattered to pieces. But I am thankful that my father has his second life. No words can perfectly described how I am so relieved that my dad recovered from his heart condition and that transcient ischemic attack that’s happened last summer. And this opportunity to work in the middle east is, I think, a good idea. I mean, hello, there are no taxes here lol 😀

I am not letting my hopes down, I know in the future and in God’s perfect time that He will grant me my heart’s desperate desires. I just have to remain strong and keep my faith that everything will turn out just fine.

Anyway, so yeah I’m currently residing here in Riyadh, the capital of KSA. It’s a strict country with so many rules that we have to follow. It’s somewhat difficult because I’m not used to being like a caged bird having not to use its wings and fly. Well I did gain friends and they keep me smiling too so I guess I’m gonna be fine 🙂 Life is what you make out of it, they said. I’m not gonna mope around and sit there all day thinking about how bad it is that I don’t see my family and friends lol. I’m better than that. I’m strong lol, or at least that’s what I think haha.. Well I’m having fun here too, every other Friday that is haha. Because we’re not allowed to go out anytime we wanted to. We go to mall every other Friday, and we do our groceries every Wednesday so it’s ok.

Some pics:

Jeni and her abaya:

 

Haha, btw I don’t cover my face like that, I just wore my tarha that way because the sun was so fierce!

On our way to work: Jeni and Matet

This weird, but beautiful structure is Al- Faisaliah Tower Mall which is just a 5-minute drive from the hospital we’re working at:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away lol, oh yeah I eat apple every freakin’ day!

Btw, last Thursday night was the celebration of Hyacinth’s “Hya” birthday, and although we’re just seven, we had a lot of fun! Hya just turned 27 last 16 but the celebration was night of 19th because the next day it’s our off day. Here are some pictures:

Hya and her birthday cake, each plate you see contained different types of cake: chocolate cake, custard cake, strawberry cheesecake and blueberry cheesecake. Hya is good cook too, fyi she cooked all the food that we had that night lol. She also baked Oreo Cheesecake which is my favorite 😀

THE FOODS:

1. Sweet and Sour Fish Fillet

2. Fruit Tray (strawberry, sweet melon, pineapple, apple, banana, kiwi) and Marshmallow with melted White and Dark Chocolate Dip

3.  Buffalo Wings

4. Shepherd’s Pie

5. Baked Mac

6. Chicken Curry

7. Hya’s Birthday Cake

We were so full! Thanks Hya! You’re the best cook ever!

And, these are some of the pics we took:

I wore a black dress with a blue corsage (lol) over my left chest 😀

There were only seven of us but we sure had a fun night!

Sorry the quality of the photo is not good lol 😀

Happy birthday Hya! Wish you all the best 🙂

Wacky shot, Jeni doing a funny face lol 😀

This is ate Juvy, our head nurse and that’s Matet’s back haha 🙂

 

Good Night! 😀